On haircuts and existential crises
'n Abend liebe freunde! Not only have I ondergone a haircut since last we spoke, I also went through some sort of existential crisis - but then again, don't these two often go hand in hand? And before you think: 'Oh golly, the poor lass must 've had a hard time choosing between putting on her Valentino rockstud flats or her Nike Airs again', let me go on and reassure you that I am for once not going to chatter your ears off with sartorial nonsense.
It was more of a 'OhmygodwhatamIdoingwithmylife?'- sort of thing. An also: 'Am I not supposed to be achieving all sorts of fantastic goals such as working for some fabulous fashion magazine and keeping up the best blog in the world that has about a gazillion readers? Because after all, isn't that what the world and Steve Jobs are telling me to do? Am I becoming one of those petty people who is settling for less? Is it wrong that I am so happy with my home and my relationship that I don't really feel the need to chase some challenging career? Isn't the point of life just to be happy? But on second thought, isn't that just a decoy of my brain to hide that I am just really really scared that if I try to become succesfull, I will fail?'
I could just keep ranting on and on like this for hours (no really, I could - and I did in my head for that matter), but of course that wouldn't really get me anywhere, accept maybe in an even more scared and confused place. The point is, that I know I am not the only one who is sometimes so overwhelmed by the social pressure for self-actualisation that I just want to be a cat. After all, it can't be coïncidential that in only a few days my favourite newspaper published two opinion pieces on the matter. One claiming that there is no more room for failure, since we've always been taught that we can achieve whatever we want. The other saying that we are never content with the successes we have, and that we only want more, more and more 'cause there's always that one facebook friend who has a life/career that just a tad more interesting than our own.
In any case my dear friends, I have decided not to bend nor break any more under the pressure of what (I think) is expected from me. I will take pleasure in life's little treasures (such as a fine glass of red wine, a great book and a beam of sunlight through the trees), I will be happy with my small conquests (such as managing to write 3 blogposts a week, finally painting that coffee table that has been on my to-do list for months, and being brave enough to introduce myself to some PR-companies), and I will always put my friends and my relationship before a career, because that is just who I am.
That being said, how do you like my new haircut?
Posted by Nimue at 21:57